Satan's Snowboard

El Diablo is at it again. Now that he's through with Job, Ol' Nick is messin' with athletes at the Winter Olympics, or so they say. ESPN and Mercury News both report that something evil this way comes in Turin, Italy. Downhill wipeouts, missed buses, mysterious 45th parallel ley lines, gates to Hell....

Beelzebub and his minions are happy this month. Old Scratch, that Hellion, is just having a field day, reports indicate.

Over on the Satanic Side of the Web, Mephistopheles claims Hell will host the 2008 Summer Olympics:

Excerpt from Press Release, April 28, 1996: A confidential source revealed today that the 2008 Summer Olympic games will take place in Hell. Satan, a long-time Olympic fan (ever since he discovered Tonya Harding), was reportedly overcome with joy at hearing the news. Satan had earlier attempted a bid for the 2006 Winter games, but was turned down when Olympic officials learned the frequency of cold days in Hell.

That ol' Prince of Darkness — such a scamp! If the Devil didn't exist, someone would just have to make him up.

Fortunately, the Benedictine monks are praying for the Olympics, so it'll all work out.


Sports | Olympics | Turin, Italy