Christian rewrites "Da Vinci Code" ending; Robert Langdon converts to Christian fundamentalism

Remember Josh the Baptist and his myrmidon anti-Masonic pals at Practical Theological Discussions blog?

One of his fellow fundamentalists, Chipley McQueen Thornton, once said of me: "My heart grieves for your soul."

Ol' Chip's heart must be grieving for the whole world now. He's written a long and occasionally interesting if not totally predictable diatribe against The Da Vinci Code.

Not content to just debunk Dan Brown's admittedly fictional version of Christianity, Chip takes it upon himself to re-write the book's finale. Have a barf bag handy.

Chip's finale:

The True Gospel Of Jesus Christ

Dan Brown exercised his literary license to embellish the historical record. In like fashion, I would like to exercise the same literary license to embellish his novel. In the closing sentences of the novel, Harvard professor Robert Langdon is found kneeling and praying at the feet of the outcast one, Mary Magdalene. The novel’s last two sentences record,

“With a sudden upwelling of reverence, Robert Langdon fell to his knees. For a moment, he thought he heard a woman’s voice... the wisdom of the ages... whispering up from the chasms of the earth.” (DVC, 489)

But, now let me share with you the rest of the story....

As the upwelling of reverence began to rise, Robert recognized the woman’s faint voice. It took him a moment, but the recesses of his mind identified the compassionate tone of the sweet voice. It was the voice of a Harvard student he had taught ten years ago. She had died from an epileptic seizure during her last year at Harvard. He did not recall her name, but the voice... he remembered that pleasant voice. The one conversation she had with him was after class one day. She politely shared her testimony that Jesus Christ had died for her sins, was buried, and rose again the third day. She lovingly urged Robert to believe that Christ paid the penalty for his sins and to place his faith in Jesus Christ. She died that night. Her last words to him had haunted him since that day: “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”

As she walked away... she turned as if to say something, but simply whispered across the room, “...and not after Christ.”

Now, as Robert was on bended knee praying to the sacred feminine... he was suddenly struck with the sobering realization of his sin. Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit. The words would not leave him. After the tradition of men. The faint voice in his head seemed to grow stronger, yet compassionate. After the rudiments of the world. The smooth, sweet voice became clear and confident. And not after Christ.

At that precise moment, Robert came to understand sin. The weight of his condition before the Holy God sank into his soul. He fell on his face and wept.

He wept as he recalled the ancient words of the Apostle Paul, “They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable, there is none that doeth good, no not one” (Romans 3:10-12), knowing that the Apostle was speaking directly to him.

Robert began heaving sobs of anguish as he realized there was nothing he could do to undo the sins he had done. There is none that doeth good, said the Apostle. No, not one.

Then he suddenly remembered Christ’s words to His disciples, Ye have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you... (John 15:16). A glimmer of hope flickered in those beautiful words. Instantaneously, his mind began racing. The understanding of truth was coming in waves now. The Scripture said that God hath chosen us in Him [Christ] before the foundation of the world... having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will (Ephesians 1:4-5). Scriptures long forgotten began coming to his mind immediately. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Robert humbly bowed his head: “God chose me in spite of my failures.” The thought comforted him in an inexplicable way. It all fell into place now. Robert thought, “God will not say of me, ‘Robert lacks my righteousness.’ No, my righteousness is Jesus Christ Himself. My sin was transferred to Christ. His righteousness was transferred to me. God chose me. Christ paid for my sin. Yes, He paid the penalty for all the sins of all those who believe. I see now! I believe! Yes, Lord, I believe.”

Robert felt free at last. He felt peace. He prayed for forgiveness. He now believed and understood how Jesus Christ had saved him from his sin. He believed that Jesus Christ would one day take him to heaven. He felt an urgency to tell others of his conversion. The code of the gospel was so simple. Yet Saunière, Sophie, and Teabing could not see it. Then the young Harvard student’s voice hearkened back to him softly, “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”

Robert dedicated his life to Christ at that moment. He solemnly vowed never again to spoil the minds of young men and women through philosophy and vain deceit. He vowed to protect and uphold the truth of the gospel. Robert Langdon rose from his feet a new man in Jesus Christ. Tears were already beginning to dry on his cheek. He looked up to heaven, took a deep breath, and smiled. Then he left.

He had to find Sophie.

Da Vinci Code | Chipley McQueen Thornton | Freemasonry | Christian Fundamentalism | Fan Fiction | Robert Langdon | BurningTaper.com | Burning Taper