Just when I was getting the hang of ignoring links to the British dance-techno-house music duo "The Freemasons" in my Google Alerts, along comes a god-awful band from Asheville, North Carolina calling themselves "Secret Lives of the Freemasons."
Despite the rave reviews that they have self-published on their MySpace account, I gotta say, these guys stink. Yeah, I know, that's a value judgment on my part, and who am I to judge? Someone must love them, since it's all over Google today that they've just been signed to Victory Records! Like I know who Victory Records! is. Or even what "hardcore/screamo/emo" is supposed to sound like.
The people who wrote the reviews posted on TheirSpace have terrible taste in music, in my not-so-humble opinion. But I like the reviewers' writing — some very clever imagery there. Too bad they wasted their best turns-of-phrase promoting this band. Every song I listened to sounded like Dr. Frankenstein resurrected Joey Ramone, Bob Mould, and Ozzie Osborne, welded them to a drummer marching to a different drum, and sent them to audition to be Disney-girl Hannah Montana's backup band.
What a waste of a perfectly good band name.
Music Review | Secret Lives of the Freemasons | Asheville, North Carolina | Freemasonry | Victory Records | Burning Taper | BurningTaper.com