Tuesday, October 28, 2008

How to be a (modern) gentleman

I came across some advice originally printed in the London Times, advice that all of us might well follow, but more especially, those of us who are Freemasons.

Feel free to add your suggestions to the list.

How to be a (modern) gentleman

1. Some things don't change: say please and thank you and ask questions about other people rather than talk about yourself.

2. Be punctual. Tardiness does not make you look important, it turns you into an arrogant incompetent who thinks that his time is more important than other people's.

3. The modern gentleman cares about the planet. Be environmentally aware (but not obnoxious about it).

4. Open doors for people and stand up when they enter a room, but do this for men as well as women. The modern gentleman doesn't treat women like porcelain.

5. Be modest. Bragging is distinctly ungentlemanly.

6. Be a good father. Nothing is less charming than a man who leaves childcare to women.

7. Be honest about wherever you have come from in life. Pretension is spineless.

8. Flirt — with everyone. Good flirting is a form of politeness. Pay compliments and put your companion at ease.

9. Do not phone/text/check your BlackBerry incessantly.

10. Dress tidily. Whatever style you are going for, scruffiness just isn't in.

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  1. I once read, in a book by the Trappist Monk, Thomas Merton, where his public school chaplain preached that the cardinal virtues should be read as "Faith, Hope, and Gentlemanliness." Merton was appalled at this, but over the years I've come to understand the chaplain's interpretation.

    I believe in French, the cardinal virtue of charity is "savoir fare." the ability to to know what to do in a given situation. In Mahayana Buddhism, there is a concept of "skill in means," which seems to imply the same thing.

    Is this not the heart of friendship, morality and brotherly love?

  2. do unto others as you would have them do unto you

    compassion for all of Gods creatures

  3. I'd have to agree with all of the original Times suggestions.... apart from the "flirting", that's such a strong word, but definitely compliment people.

    As for an additional suggestion:
    "Be spiritual and help others be spiritual, but don't enforce your beliefs or religious dogma on others."


    Daniel Lewis
    * Location: Bristol, UK
    * Web: http://vanirsystems.com/

  4. The modern man, as well as the wise, always listen, and never interject. The modern man, as well as the wise, would only give opinion when asked, and only after carefully and completely formulating his opinion.

  5. A Southern Gentlemen:

    1. Always open doors for Ladies
    2. Always addresses Elder Ladies they know well as Miz Martha, Miz Margaret etc, etc. and Elder men as Mr. George, Mr. Charles etc, etc.
    3. Always calls his Mother Moma
    4. Calls his Moma everyday
    5. Sends his Moma flowers on her birthday
    6. Address all his elders by Sir or Maam
    7. Never does anything that will stain the family name
    8. Stands firm on his beliefs
    9. Calls his Father Daddy
    10. NEVER allows his Moma to attend church on Mother's day without an orchid for her to wear.
    11. Knows how to dress correctly for all occassions
    12. Lives an upright life that other's desire.
    13. Always greets others with Hello, good evening, nice weather we're having...
    14. Knows never to wear white before Memorial Day and never after Labor Day.
    15. Knows his heritage.

    All of these are mostly Gone with the Wind
    Have you called your Moma today? I wished I could call mine...........
    An independent ,Fake, Bogus, Irregular, Clandestine Freemason
    I speak for no Lodge and no Grand Lodge my postings are my personal thoughts

  6. In Saint Paul, there is a wonderful business known as Heimie's Haberdashery. The store sells an assortment of hip formal wear, offers true barber services by a man named Moustache Jim, and custom tailoring. It is a very interesting store that reminds me of the turn of the century with singing barbers and classy dress including top hats.


  7. A modification in the Southern Gentleman comment would be that you call anyone older than yourself, even by one year, Sir or Ma'am or Mr. or Ms or Mrs. And expect the same.

  8. does this include the same southern gentlemen who are intolerant of racial and religious differences?

  9. You know, I take that as a DIRECT slap in the face.

    I am really glad to be independent and not dependent.

    If every SOUTHERNER is going to be subjected to accusations were are raicist. KEEP THIS IN MIND: Who actucally DID something about a GL racist policy?? WHO? I don't remember anyone from Ohio coming to demostrate aganist racism.

    I'll make a deal LEAVE me alone and recieve like wise. Stay up there and I'll stay here. Since no one dared to help make a difference other than a handfull here be mindful who the racist are and aren't.

    You would think I would learn not to post here and believe me it will not happen again.

  10. Bro. David,

    I have absolutely no idea what in this thread you're offended by.

    May I suggest you read (and re-read, if necessary) the article on The Taper from Sept. 23, 2006, titled "Stop Looking for Reasons to be Offended."

    — W.S.

  11. A direct slap in the face?

    you are right, no one from ohio came to Alabama to help protest in person, but I made much noise for THE CAUSE on the Russ and Dee show from Ohio!

    i must be the crazy one, because YOU put all southern gentlemen into that class, all I did was ask if any southern gentlemen who follow your 15 point platform, are also racist and religiously intolerant?

    It seems pretty hypocritical for a man to Moma this and Daddy that, and then go out and hang a black man?

    or black ball him from a "white" lodge..... and yet be considered a "gentleman"........

    sorry to have touched a nerve?

    I will stay up here with Men who are not so gentle, that when it comes to Rhetoric and Sarcasm, we do not seem so sensitive to "go off" at "random" quips, and actually "control" their passions.....

    Wow....................if the shoe does not fit then do not wear it....

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  13. I haven't looked at this blog in a little while. I see we are still on track with the last time I was here. Now we even have the clandestine Masons turning on each other. Carry on. I'll be back in March

  14. I love it, simply fantastic points of being a great person. Although it doesnt tell you to actually care about what your doing, but to just do it. Amazing article however nonetheless.


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