Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Illuminati Special Agent fails to defuse nuke hidden in cow

Police and firefighters rushed to the scene after a burglar stuck in an air vent at the Knoxville Museum of Art dialed 911 from his cellphone.

Before his rescuers had even lifted him up the 45-foot airshaft, Richard Anthony Smith, who later identified himself by showing his Illuminati Special Agent No. 0931 badge, said, "Mission failed."

He told police he had rappelled onto the museum's roof from a helicopter, on a mission to "defuse and confiscate" a "MERV6SS-22AN" Soviet-made nuclear warhead "He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead "with 14.5 kg of enriched uranium and a plutonium trigger, capable of delivering a 40-kiloton yield." The bomb was believed to be hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

While in the shaft, Smith told police, his "agency" called to tell him there had been a mistake — the nuke was actually in a museum in Memphis, 400 miles away.

Smith is being held on $2,000 bond on charges of aggravated robbery.


Ashville Citizen-Times

Yahoo News/Associated Press

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  1. Dammit, we told that idiot it was in Memphis. I knew we shouldn't have let him in. No more recruits from the World of Warcraft universe okay guys.


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