Sunday, September 14, 2008

Reptilians from Area 51 control the weather using sweet iced tea served by O.E.S. worthy matrons

The friendly folks over at Welcome to the Machine wrote the other day about a new game they've invented. For lack of a better title, it's called "The Conspiracy Theorist Nutjob Game."

Simply put, you earn points in the game by going onto conspiracy theorist forums, websites, and blogs, and engaging conspiracy theorists in dialog. You earn five points, for example, by getting someone to call you "sheeple," and three points if you're called a "lemming." Getting a conspiracy theorist to admit he's wrong about something is worth 20 points, but getting him to actually change his mind gets you 500 points.

Inspiring a conspiracy theorist to use the phrases "psy ops," "mind control," or "thought police" gets you 10 points each. If they use the phrase "JFK," "Area 51," or "Freemason," you only get one point, since conspiracies involving these topics are so common and intertwined.

The Burning Taper occasionally receives comments by a few anti-Masonic conspiracy kooks, but mostly, this site has become a free-for-all where Masons attack and insult other Masons.

I thought maybe we could at least have a little fun with it here while every one is still hell-bent on bashing each other. I mean, the terms "sock puppet" and "racist" and "clandestine" and "real Mason" and "unmasonic" and "obligations" get bandied about here so often they should be worth a couple of points each time they're used, or provoked. "Douchebag," which one Mason recently called another Mason here, is another word that points should be awarded (or deducted) for.

And of course, per Godwin's Law, the first person who mentions Hitler or Nazis loses.

Calling Bro. Ed King names, or being called names by him, isn't worth much, it's been done so much. What would really be worth a couple of hundred points would be for Bro. King to actually show the world his brotherly side and write something venom-less on his website or blog about anyone outside his personal circle of lodge brothers and junior steward lackeys.

Likewise, GOUSA members who want to tell the world that Grand Orient Masonry is better than Grand Lodge Masonry could probably earn more points in the minds of regular Masons — or stop collecting so many — if brotherly love for those who disagree with them seemed to be one of their tenets.

I haven't yet decided if earning these points makes you a winner or a loser.

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  1. I think that it might be worth a few hunnert points to see a mainstreamer say something like "I'm going to stop carping at the GO and let them go about their bizness."

    Likewise, it would be worth the same to see a GO mason say something like "Yeah, MS Masonry is okay, I just went off in a different direction. But it's all good."

    Good post, WS.

  2. Funny you should say that Tom, several GO Masons have been saying that same thing for awhile now...

    "Euclid Lodge is not a rejection of the Anglo-Saxon/American manifestation of Masonry. Far from it, we open our doors to our Brothers. Free-Masonry is most important when it works in the life of the individual Brother. The lodge is just a classroom."

  3. Tony, you're correct. Actually, almost all of the GO and LDH Masons that I've talked to over the years have said the same thing.

    Almost all.

    I know that it's really just a small handful of Masons who are making the most noise. I just wish that they would all shut up about it already. Or at least, go off into their own little Masonic Corral and not spill over their bickerings into where the grownups are working.

  4. To be fair, it is an equally small percentage of mainstream Brothers engaging in the bickering...

  5. Where do I sign up? And. I think I'd give a few hunnert points just to see a video of Tom saying "bizness" and "it's all good"...

  6. I think some of my bros here in Conn would give a couple of hunnert points to hear me stop talking.


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