Monday, May 08, 2006

Onward, Christian Soldiers

Is Pope Benedict XVI "girding up" for war?

On Saturday the Pope installed new Christian soldiers into the the Swiss Guard, the world's smallest army. Protecting the Catholic Church for the last 500 years, Saturday's addition of 33 new warriors swells the army's ranks to 110.

Armed with halberds — a cross between an axe and spear — and a few automatic weapons (and maybe a Swiss Army knife?), the Army may be about to fan out to surround Mexico, Spain and Italy, to round up The Da Vinci Code movie fans who have, against the Pope's orders, sold out upcoming movie showings.

The army may have to divide itself into two flanks, though, as the Pope is now very unhappy with China for naming two new bishops without getting the Vatican's permission first.

If the Pope goes ahead with war preparations against both The Da Vinci Code fans and the Chinese, things could get dicey. Let's hope the Pope — formerly the prefect of the Church's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, the politically correct name for the less-p.c. phrase "Holy Inquisition" — doesn't get all carried away, thinking "Right" is on his side. It isn't.

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  1. It is quite a joke that the Vatican and Catholic Church have the gall to accuse the author of a novel of attacking their fantasies and dogma. Remember that this is the same organization that manufactured fake relics and miracles for many centuries. This is the same group that massacred and tortured people for having a mind of their own. This is the same group of deluded deceivers that makes more noise about a fictional book and movie than about child raping priests, aids, famine, or even the Holocaust! Here's more about my take on it.

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  2. I don't know from where seven star hand got authority to call him/herself a messiah, may God forgive you. You are in total darkness.

    I also don't know from where anyone got that the Pope ordered anything!
    My thoughts can be found here:


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