Saturday, April 22, 2006

Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Somebody stop the planet, I want to get off!

The Bush administration's Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has proposed a mandatory rating system he claims will "prevent people from inadvertently stumbling across pornographic images on the Internet."

He wants to require all website operators to rate their own sites and place government-designed "marks and notices" to warn visitors there may be sexually expicit material on their sites. Failure to comply with this ludicrous idea would earn you five years in the pokey.

This brilliant idea is from the same Administration that opposed the .xxx domain, which pornographers would have gobbled up, making it easy to spot a porn site coming down Fifth Avenue.

Also to be banned, if these ninnies have their way, is search engine optimization by misleading visitors about sex with deceptive "words or digital images" in their source code. The example they're using is this: pornographers are using keywords like "Barbie Dolls" and "Teletubbies" to lure people to sexually explicit websites.

The most risque thing I found when I googled "Barbie Doll" was a 2002 article on about a copyright infringement case against a British woman who sold sexually explicit dolls made with Barbie doll heads.

A third new crime would be that of putting any sexual explicit material on one's home page. You'd have to hide it "behind the counter."

I thought Anthony Comstock died in 1915!

And of course, they're claiming it's "for the children." This draconian law's title? "Child Pornography and Obscenity Prevention Amendments of 2006." Nowhere does any of these amendments refer to child pornography. And its enactment would do nothing to reduce the chances of a child finding pornography on a website. Tagging the offensive pages would actually make them easier to find.

The perverts who think up these laws define "sexually explicit" very broadly. The term covers depictions of everything from sexual intercourse and masturbation to "sadistic abuse" and close-ups of fully clothed genital regions. Those Ridgid Tools calendars my Shriner next-door neighbor had in his toolshed when I was a kid would be banned. A photo of a celebrity with a noticible camel toe could be deemed "sexually explicit." Hell, the non-airbrushed version of the J.C. Penney's panties page could be deemed "sexually explicit."

The title of this article, "Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex," is my attempt to obey the not-yet-enacted law by labeling this article. I should have called it, "Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid."

I know some Masons may disagree with me on this, citing that "Morality" is one of Freemasonry's tenets. This issue isn't about morality, though. This is about Liberty.

Fraternity. Liberty. Equality. That is the true Freemason's credo. Freedom of speech. Freedom of expression. Freedom of conscience.

To become the United States Attorney General, it must be a job requirement that you be a prude. You'll recall that in 2002 John Ashcroft, the previous Attorney General, spent $8,000.00 for blue cloths to throw over the statue called Spirit of Justice and its partner Majesty of Law (a man in a loincloth) because he couldn't stand being photographed with an exposed female breast behind him.

In a separate speech on April 19, Gonzales called for Internet Service Providers to keep more detailed logs of your online activities.

These guys were weaned too soon. Big Baby is watching you!

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1 comment:

  1. The part i find amazing is the level of concern they have for "the children" while the national deficit spirials out fo control on the unwinable war.

    I made some paintings about this some years back, I just never found a place to show them.

    My suspiscion is that the censorship will only start with the racy material, and not end until everything they don't like is censored too. Including discussions like this.


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