Previous ape articles or photos:
- Peaceful, sex-loving chimps being eaten to extinction
- Planet of the Crazy Apes
- Evolution, schmevolution! We're all apes inside
- Princeton University shows how to hack an electronic voting machine
- Do Masonic monkeys hold banana-split fundraisers?
- And of course, Burning Taper's 500th post, where I admitted I am, in fact, a semi-literate simian.
Unfortunately, Hiasi doesn't have a job, and the free room and board he's been getting for the past quarter century is about to end. The animal sanctuary he and Rosi call home has gone bankrupt. They just couldn't afford the chimps' $6,800 a month lifestyle.
Animal rights activists have come up with a plan. They have established a foundation to raise funds for and care for the chimps, who are expected to live to the age of 60.
But under Austrian law, only a person can accept personal donations.
The activists have begun paperwork to have Hiasi and Rosi declared "persons" who will have certain legal rights.
"We're not talking about the right to vote here," said Eberhart Theuer, a lawyer leading the challenge on behalf of the Association Against Animal Factories, a Vienna animal rights group.
"We mean the right to life, the right to not be tortured, the right to freedom under certain conditions."
All well and good. I like chimps.
But those of you who've studied future history by watching the sequels to Planet of the Apes will recognize the potential danger here. Beware! Those little critters may be smarter than we think. This could be the beginning of the Ape Revolution!
Where's Charlton Heston when we need him?
Chimpanzees | Chimps | Monkeys | Freemasonry | Grand Lodge of Monkeys | Burning Taper | BurningTaper.com