Monday, August 20, 2007

Internet addiction? No, not me... I can walk away at any time

No, really. I'm not hooked. I can stop surfing anytime I want to.

A report today by United Press International says that Internet addiction should be grouped with extreme addictive disorders such as gambling, sex addiction and kleptomania.

According to Dr. Pinhas Dannon of Tel Aviv University's Sackler Faculty of Medicine, 10 percent of Internet surfers suffer from "Internet addiction disorder." The disorder can lead to anxiety and severe depression, the doctor said.

Internet addiction is an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that results in "an urge to engage in ritualistic thoughts and behavior."

"Internet addiction is not manifesting itself as an 'urge.' It's more than that. It's a deep 'craving.' And if we don’t make the change in the way we classify Internet addiction, we won't be able to treat it in the proper way," Dannon said Friday in a media release.

Of course, this doesn't refer to us. We're all well-rounded, non-obsessed, normal, intelligent, healthy people.

Right?

Well?

No, really... I'm not hooked.

"Put the mouse down, sir, and slowly back away from the monitor."

Okay, I will....

But first, I gotta google the phrase "12 steps internet addiction."

Type, type, type — ENTER....

Yeah, here's something from About.com.
Are you addicted to the Internet? Here are some indications developed by Webaholics Anonymous that may help answer the question. Do any of these sound familiar?

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you respond with "LOL".

3. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

4. You have to get two phone lines just so you can call Pizza Hut.

5. You go into labor and you stop to type special e-mail to let everyone know why you're going to be away.

6. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

7. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.

8. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.

9. You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are online again.

10. You know more about your chat friends daily routine than you do your own spouse's.

11. You find yourself lying to others about your online time and when they complain the line was busy you claim it was off the hook.

12.You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.

13. You would much rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying all night than the truth (online all night).

14. Your kids are standing at your side saying "Mommy, please come cook dinner."

15. You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.

16. Your dog leaves you.

17. You have to ask what year it is.

18. You write letters like this.... "dear tom, hiyas! how r u doing well i gotta go."

19. You bring a bag lunch and cooler to computer.

20. You use online lingo in every day life (If you still have one).

21. You take a speed reading course just to keep up with the scrolling.

22. The checkout clerk at Wal-Mart asks for your ID and you give her your screen name.

23. You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom but turn on computer instead.

24. You don't even notice anymore when someone makes a typo.

25. You got your psychiatrist addicted to the Internet too and are undergoing therapy in private chat rooms instead of his office.

26. People say, "If it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers you would have been classified as a vegetable."

27. Being called a Newbie is a major insult.

28. You double click your TV remote.

29. You go into withdrawals during dinner.

30. You stop speaking in full sentences.

31. You have to be pried from your computer by the "Jaws of Life."

32. You set your kitchen on fire while cooking because you wanted to just "check your mail" and while there "you just wanted to see who was online."

33. You write your return address on an envelope and put "@" before the street address.

34. When you visit other people's homes with computers you have to resist touching the mouse.

35. You don't resist touching their mouse.

36. Panic attack: Modem Cannot Be Detected. Make Sure the Phone Line is Connected and Try Again."

37. When others are using your computer, you pace nervously behind them.

38. You don't invite relatives that don't have email access to holiday gatherings.

39. If your spouse REALLY wants to get your attention, they send an email.

40. You know how to empty disk cache.
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3 comments:

  1. that's some of the worst science i've seen in a while.

    how can you make the jump from a behaviour that manifests as an "urge", to lumping it in the category of OCD?

    and what repetitive, compulsive, ritualistic behaviours contribute it to being lumped with OCD?

    fine, i only did psychology for two years at university, and i've only studied internet culture for four, but i would argue that it is way too simplistic calling a "compulsion" an "addiction".

    i've personally battled with both, and believe me, there is no way ANY internet behaviour can be considered "addictive".

    peace and blessed be,

    c.z

    ReplyDelete
  2. By their definition, "Internet addiction is an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that results in 'an urge to engage in ritualistic thoughts and behavior,'" wouldn't regular church-goers and regular Masonic meeting attendees fall under the OCD diagnosis?

    Conspiracy theorists would do well to stop worrying about Bilderbergers and Freemasons, and pay some attention to the global "health care" conspiracy.

    Medical researchers and fans of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) won't rest until every human function and activity has been labeled a medical or mental condition.

    Last I heard, pregnancy, PMS and constipation were being added to the list of medical "diseases."

    Once a function or activity is classified as a disease or condition, there's a cash bonanza awaiting any "professional" that is allowed to treat it, and pharmaceutical company execs' eyes light up, and they begin to salivate at the money they can make by patenting or re-patenting a drug to treat the new condition.

    A few years ago, the use patents were about to expire on some of the 1980's drugs for "anxiety" and "panic disorder." What did they do? They created a new disorder — "social anxiety syndrome," and got a new use patent. How anxiety differs from social anxiety syndrome is anyone's guess, but when the public heard about it, a certain percentage self-diagnosed themselves with it and rushed off to their doctor for a 'script for the same ol' same ol' drug, pouring millions of dollars into Rx companies' bank accounts.

    Once "Internet addiction" becomes an official mental disorder, there will be a nifty new (or repackaged) drug to treat it, and eventually it will be subdivided into "Internet porn addiction," "Internet news addiction," "Internet forum-participation addiction," and "Internet blogging addiction."

    — W.S.

    ReplyDelete
  3. do they already have a pill for couch potato syndrome?

    ReplyDelete

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